10 Hilarious Dirty Jokes That

1. She Raised 5,000 cocks

A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation’?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no no That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.” 

2. A women with lover

A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation… (She is speaking in a cheery voice) ‘Hello? Oh, hi. I’m so glad that you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye.

3. Arithmetic Father

A guy is sitting at the doctor’s office.The doctor walks in and says, “I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating.” “I don’t understand, doc,”the patient says. “Why?” “Because,” the doctor says. “I’m trying to examine you.” 

6. Can I Suck Your Bo*bs

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner.She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.” Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies, “No, it’s too expensive.” 

7. Jhony ‘s Btich

A teacher asks her class,”What do you want to be when you grow up?”Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii,a mansion in Paris,a jet to travel through Europe,an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”.The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.”And you, Susie? ” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch.” 

8. Naked Couple in the car

A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, “What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn’t you move when I honked? “The naked man in the car yells back, “You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!” 

9. A girlfrind S*x With Her Boss

A boss said to his secretary, “I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast.I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I’ll be done.”She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.Her boyfriend then said to her,do it but ,”Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn’t even have enough time to undressed himself.”So she agrees.Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he ask “what happened?”She responds, “The Bastard used coi I’m still picking and he is still fucking!”

10. What is P*nis

A Four Year Old Boy Asked His Friend What A Penis Was. His Friend’S Response Was That He Did Not Know And He Would Ask His Dad. That Evening The Boy Asked His Dad.His Dad Gladly Exposed Himself To His Son And With His Penis In Hand Said: “Son This Is A Penis, In Fact, If You Take A Good Look You Will See This Is A Perfect Penis”The Next Day The Second Five Year Old Boy Met The First Five Year Old Boy And Called Him Behind A Hedge. The Boy Exposed Himself And Said: “This Is A Penis. In Fact, If It Were Three Inches Shorter It Would Be A Perfect Penis” 

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