Here you can read the best short jokes with twist and plot twist jokes.

1. When Einstein Driver

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.
On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:
“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”
The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”
“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
“Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.”

2.Plot Twist in Naughty Student’s Story

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door
Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridg
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student:The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher:She drowned?!
Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

3.The Girl Wished Her Father Had Died But The Mailman Died. But How

A little girl was praying when her dad walked in. she said “good night grandma good night mom good night dad good bye grandpa”.
the next day the grandpa drops dead. the dad decides to ignore what she says last night and continues on with his day.
that night the dad walks in his daughters room praying again. she says “good night mom, good night dad, goodbye grandma”.
the next day the grandma drops dead. the dad starts to get a little freaked and at night he hears his daughter praying again.
she says “good night mom, good bye dad”. the dad I completely freaked out so when he goes to work that day he stays in his office.
he is afraid of going home so he stays until closing. he comes home and his wife opens the door. she says “where have you been?” he says “I’ve had a rough day.” the wife says, “you’ve had a rough day? first of all in the morning the mailman drops dead in front of me.”

4.Just a Typical Story Repost With a little Twist

A proud farmer lying on his deathbed, asked his three sons to find one object that can be used to fill the inside of the barn. The one who can deliver will be chosen as his heir to the farm.
So the oldest son goes to the market to get hay while the middle son go get leaves and the youngest son goes to a shop and buys two things that he put in his pocket.
The middle son went first, he hauled in his leaves and a fails to fill the barn entirely, instead he manages to fill only 1/4 of the barn.
The oldest son is next, he shovels in his truckload of hay only to discover that it’s not enough to fill to barn as well, only managing to fill 1/2 of the barn.
Last is the youngest son, he pulls out a lamp and some matches. He strikes a flame and lights the lamp, but as doing so he slips on a pile of cow shit inside the barn, causing him to drop the lamp and lit match onto the pile of leaves and hay his brothers left inside the barn. This causes a giagantic chain reaction resulting in the entire farm being burnt to smithereens as well as the next 75 miles of esate down south. He is charged with arson and sentenced to prison for 45 years.
Farmer: Maybe I should’ve just given the farm to my wife.

5.Jim Thinking Quartermaster Was a Wizard

Jim, who was late to everything, was drafted. Sure enough, in boot camp, he was last in line to get a rifle.
When it was his turn, the quartermaster said, “I’m sorry but we’re all out of rifles.” Jim said, “How can I do the drills then?” The quartermaster replied, “Take this stick and when it’s time to shoot, yell ‘Bangety Bang Bang!’ Go get a bayonet on it and maybe it’ll look better.” But, again, Jim was last in line. The quartermaster tells Jim, “I’m sorry but now we’re all out of bayonets. Tie this banana on the end of your stick and when you’re doing drills, yell “Stabety Stab Stab!’”
It goes well, but after just a couple weeks of training Jim finds himself in the actual war! He’s on the front lines, and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. But then an enemy soldier jumps out in front of him, and his training takes over. He points his stick and yells, “Bangety Bang Bang!” The soldier falls down dead. Another rushes him from the back. Jim twists around and yells’ “Stabety Stab Stab!” and that soldier also falls down dead. “Maybe that quartermaster was a wizard “, Jim thinks as he takes down enemy soldiers right and left. “Bangety Bang Bang”! “Stabety Stab Stab!”
But then a very burly soldier steps in front of Jim. “Bangety Bang Bang!”, he yells. Nothing happens. The soldier keeps coming. “Stabety Stab Stab!”, he tries. Again the soldier keeps coming. “Bangety Bang Bang!” Stabety Stab Stab!Bangety Bang Bang!” Stabety Stab Stab!” Nothing fazes the soldier as he slooooowly pushes Jim over, and tramples him to death. The enemy soldier looking down at Jim says in a very, very deep voice, “Tankety Tank Tank”

6.A Lady From Revenue Department

A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back…
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.r>
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service

7.When Four Gentlemen Are out Golfing

Four older gentlemen are out golfing, sharing about their lives and eventually the topic of their children’s professional success is brought up. The first guy steps up, hurriedly takes his shot, wiffs the ball off into the woods, and starts walking to find his ball without saying a word…
The second man steps up to take his shot and confidently reports, “My son is doing pretty well. He’s just been promoted to manager of the car dealership he works at. In fact, he’s doing so well gave the last lady he was seeing a brand new sports car.” Then he takes takes a swing and drives the ball down towards the green, and steps aside.
The third guy steps up and can’t help but escalate with praise for his own son, “That’s pretty impressive, but my boy is also doing great. He’s a chip off the old block. He’s a broker for luxury yachts, and really has a knack for it. He’s doing so well that the last woman he was dating he up and just gave her a freaking boat!”. He takes his shot and stands next to the other guy.
The last gentleman, growing in confidence steps up to the tee, really feeling pride in his son’s accomplishments, “Those are nothing to scoff at, no doubt. Believe it or not though, my son is doing even better! He’s a top ranked national realtor and had such a profitable year that he up and bought this girl he’s been dating an entire freaking house!” He drives his shot almost to the hole and all three walk down to meet the friend that lost his ball in the trees.
The first guy chips his ball out as they arrive at the green. As he walks up the last guy shout to him, “What about you? You didn’t say anything before you shot… don’t you have something to share about your son?”
The bashfully dips his head a little and replies, “I don’t understand my son. I love him and I’m happy he’s happy. He’s a cross-dresser, he’s gay, and works as a male escort…” They all get quiet for a moment before he continues, “He must be good though – just this year his top clients have bought him a Ferarri, a small yacht, and a new fuckin’ house!”

8.The blind man who could identify any type of wood by smell

Three lumberjacks were cutting down trees in the forest when they came across an old cabin. They knocked on the door and an old blind man came out and said “I know you boys are cutting down my trees but I don’t care as long as you don’t cut down my maples. I harvest the syrup from them.”
The lumberjacks said “we just started a logging business and we’re out here cutting down some trees but don’t worry we won’t bother your maples.” The old blind man said “You better not be and don’t think you can fool me either. I know everything about wood there is to know.” The 3 lumberjacks told him he was full of shit and started to walk away. The old man stalled them and said “I’ll tell you what boys…
if you don’t believe me…bring me 3 different pieces of wood and I’ll bet you $1000 I can identify each type of wood just by smelling it.” The lumberjacks took his bet and each returned with a different piece of freshly cut wood. They handed the old man the first piece…he smelled it and said “there’s no mistaking that strong scent…that boys is pine.” He was correct. The lumberjacks weren’t fully convinced and realized they had given him an easy one so they handed the old man the 2nd piece of wood. The old man smelled it and said “that’s a tough one but I know for a fact that right there is oak.” Once again…he was correct. The lumberjacks knew they were about to be out of $1000 so they huddled to devise a plan to try to throw the old man off. The one lumberjack said “I have an idea…you boys remember how I was tellin’ y’all about how my wife gave me some pussy and a piece of ass this morning before I left the house? Watch this…” He walked over to the old man, pulled out his dick, and said here you go old man…take a whiff of this wood and tell me what it is!” The old man smelled it…paused…and took one more good whiff and said “That there boys is a plank off of the shithouse door of a shrimp boat.”

9.Smartest president

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.
The 1st passenger said, ‘I am LeBron James, the best NBA basketball player. The Lakers and my millions of fans need me, and I can’t afford to die.’ So he took the 1st pack and left the plane.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, ‘I am the US President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don’t want me to die.’ He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.
The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, ….
‘My son, I am old and don’t have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.’
The little boy said, ‘That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you. America ‘s smartest President took my schoolbag…
Edit : Thank you for the rewards and upvotes !

10.Beautiful woman

A bloke is sitting in the bar at a busy airport.
A beautiful woman walks in and sits down next to him.
He presumes, because she’s got a uniform on, she’s probably an off duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the Delta Airline motto: “We love to fly and it shows”.
The woman looks at him blankly.
He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto: “Winning the hearts of the world”.
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto: “Going beyond expectations”.
The woman looks at him sternly and says: “What the fuck do you want dickhead?”
“Ah!” he says, sitting back with a smile on his face… Ryanair!

11.When Prince Charles Hire a Hooker

Prince Charles decided to take up walking and everyday, at the same street corner, he would pass a hooker . He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she’d shout. “No! Five pounds!” he said from the side of his mouth, just to shut her up.
This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence. She’d yell “One hundred and fifty pounds!” He’d yell back “Five pounds!”
One day,
Camilla decided to accompany her husband and as the couple neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.
Then, the hooker yelled “See what you get for five pounds, you cheap bastard!

12.What Happned When Professor told dirty jokes in class

Professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it.
So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kinds of jokes,they all will leave the class as a protest.
Somehow the professor heard about the protest.
In the next lecture,in the beginning of the lecture he said : “in Sweden a prostitute….
makes $2000 per night.”
All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them :
“Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn’t take off until the afternoon. “

13.Old Man Who lived By a Forest

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…
He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”
“What I want you to do…” the man continued. “Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

14.A girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency;
she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became…
Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.

15.When the Teacher explains the Definition of the word “Definitely.

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely.” To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence.
The first student raises his hand and says, “The sky is definitely blue.”
The teacher says, “Well, that isn’t entirely correct, because sometimes it’s gray and cloudy.”
Another student says, “Grass is definitely green.” The teacher again replies, “If grass doesn’t get enough water, it turns brown, so that isn’t really correct either.”
Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher, “Do farts have lumps?” The teacher looks at him and says, “No, but that isn’t really question you want to ask in class discussion.”So the student replies, “Then I’ve definitely shit in my pants.”

16. How were people born

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”

17. How much for a season ticket

Anybody caught breaking the rule will be fined….On the first day of university and Dean addressing the students, pointing out some of the rules:“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and the male dormitory for the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”
He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time…will cost you $180. Are there any questions?”At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: “How much for a season ticket?”

18. When a man wearing a ten-gallon hat

A man wearing a ten-gallon hat and leather boots goes into a bar and sits down next to a woman. “Are you a real cowboy?”, she asks him. He responds: “For all my life, I have been tamed and ridden horses. I have repaired fences, herded and tended to cows, and caught escaped cows. I think it would make sense to call myself a cowboy.”To which she says: “Interesting. I myself am a lesbian. I wake up thinking about women, when I am in the shower I think about women, at night laying in bed I think about women. I constantly think about women.” They talk for a while until she gets up and leaves. An older couple enters the bar and sits down next to the cowboy. They eyeball him a short while and then muster up the courage to ask him:”Are you a real cowboy?”, to which he replies: “For all my life I thought I was a cowboy, but today I learned that I am in fact a lesbian.”

19. Why this man wants double dose of Viagra

A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Vi*gra. The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose.“Why not?” asked the man.“Because it’s not safe,” replied the doctor.“But I need it really bad,” said the man.“Well, why do you need it so badly?” asked the doctor. The man said, “My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday, and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can’t you see? I must have a double dose.” The doctor finally relented saying, “Okay, I’ll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects.” On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling. The doctor asked, “What happened to you?”The man said, “No one showed up.”

20. Blowjobs For Money

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he says. “I’m going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free.” The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. “Where do you think you going?” the wife asks. “I’m coming with you…I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!”

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *