Funny jokes

patient says. "Why?""Because," the doctor says."I'm trying to examine you."

A Wife was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me…

"Yes well you also tested positive for cannabis, LSD, and cocaine.""…It was an everything bagel."

It will soon be vaseline day,” said my son. “Don’t you mean Valentines day?” I replied. “I know what I mean, ” he answered, “by the way, I need to…